Dear Lo,

I've been with my boyfriend for 8+ years now. Several years ago while drinking with some friends, some inappropriate things happened with a close guy friend of mine. The feeling was quite different. It's hard to explain, but it didn't feel wrong. I have never cheated on my boyfriend before, and never talked/looked at another guy. After that night, my friend and I said it was clearly the biggest mistake since we were both in long-term relationships. We decided that we can no longer be friends or hang out by ourselves.

Long story short, we didn't keep that promise. In fact, we became much closer. We hung out alone, talked on the phone, became more comfortable physically. I HATE myself for it. Not to mention, I haven't been happy in my relationship for a few years now, but I can't let myself walk away because I genuinely don't believe I deserve to be happy. Our issues are more concrete and I don't think we have a future, but it's like I’m punishing myself for the mistakes I made and for the things I've done with this guy. I'm not sure what to do now since feelings are involved on both sides. I don't want the end result to be hurting and losing both of these guys. Thanks in advance for your feedback and advice.

~Anonymous